"Love" and "career" are distractions

When it comes to esoteric tools like Astrology, Human Design, Numerology and the like, there's a tendency to want to know one's destiny regarding love and career (or more accurately, money). Yet, I think this is a mistake. And, I think that, because it's a mistake I've made.

I've written about my internal struggles with my work and career before. Essentially, I would bury myself in work at a new company or project and then a couple years later emerge tired, unfulfilled and lacking purpose. It was only more recently that I realized this was a problem entirely within my own psyche and not the result of any particular external circumstance. In other words, my jobs were great, I just had a bit of a complex 😅

This cycle repeated at every job I've had during my software development career. And, only by landing what was essentially my dream job and still repeating this cycle did I realize (with much resistance) that this is entirely a "me" problem.

So, I quite my dream job and have been on sabbatical ever since. I've had the luxury of time to dive deep into my psyche and figure out why I keep hitting these walls of dissatisfaction and lack of "purpose" and "meaning."

And, it was honestly a panic at times. "What the heck am I going to do for work?" "Will I ever program again?" "Should I learn a new domain of programming to keep it interesting??" "Maybe I'll make a video game from scratch!!"

Of course, armed with knowledge of Human Design and Numerology and access to Astrology through my partner, I could dive into each system and figure out my fated career!

But, like I said a the beginning of this article, using these tools to find one's fated career or love is a mistake. The desire to know my career was itself conditioning. Indeed, my cyclical dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment with my career had nothing to do with what I was doing. Honestly, I was just doing too much. My lack of fulfillment came from not spending enough time and effort on developing my internal world—from actually getting to know myself!

I was burying myself in work, which left little time to actually uncover and develop who I am.

That deep desire to know one's perfect career or what the fates have planned for your love life is, well, deep, but it's a distraction. If you actually take the time to know yourself, career and love can unfold naturally. It may seem counter-intuitive but I think that's because the Ego has a natural (or maybe culturally conditioned) aversion to self-discovery—because it's painful! It's difficult.

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all. —Thomas Szasz

So, if you find yourself diving into these tools, grasping for something concrete and exact in regards to love and career, maybe it's actually a call to get to know yourself better—to dive deep into your own behaviors, patterns and beliefs.

These esoteric tools can help identify your predilections and natural strengths and weaknesses. But, those don't necessarily depict your fated career or love life. Say you lack a natural talent to lead—maybe it's your fate to learn and develop leadership through applied effort! Or, say you have a natural predilection to lead and the innate skills to do so—maybe it's your fate to consciously step aside and let others lead!

It is only by getting to know yourself that you figure out if you're leaning too heavily on a natural talent or predilection like a crutch or if you're ignoring an undeveloped aspect to your own detriment. As you do this work of getting to know yourself and consciously developing your own self, your path unfolds naturally in the moment. By embodying your true self, details like career and love become more clear. If you focus too much on the details, you'll actually miss them.

Ya know, 'missing the forest for the trees!' 🌲

Are you focusing on details too much and missing the bigger picture? Are you lacking a complete understanding of your whole self because you're caught up in details like love and career?